ant races

My head’s been nonstop static. Off to the ant races again. I know there’s something in there and I can’t seem to get it out. It’s shaking and rattling and rolling around, driving me mad. Keeping me sane, over-organized in my head and completely useless in real life. I can’t seem to stop and I can’t seem to go, and I hate this feeling of being in limbo.

I don’t know how it came to this and I’m not sure why it’s taking this turn. I’m not really sure what “it” is, either, but I think I’m just referring to life in general at the moment. My furnace has been running nonstop for hours, for days, really, we’re actually going on weeks here. It is cold outside and everything is covered in snow. Have I ever mentioned how much I loathe that crap? I do. I hate it with all of my heart.

I haven’t slept right in too long. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I seem to be doing okay. I mean, nothing is late yet. Bills are paid, homework is finished, house is clean, kids are still in one piece per… so I’m doing okay. But there’s an itching under my skin and static in my brain and the train won’t stop running and I’m finally learning French!

I have to work in a few minutes and I’m trying to be ready for it. I’m resigned to be awake though my heart begs me slumber.

I just needed a moment. Thank you for listening.

Good morning. Happy Tuesday.

-xo

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